My Thoughts
6th Nov 2010Posted in: Blog, Uncategorized 0
My Thoughts
these are my thoughts
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Self Quotes of the Day 1) Sometimes the only way to get paint molecule number 8 million in to quadrant x-598 of a painting surface is to brush left 3 strokes. 2) Most approaches to mental health maintenance are individual based and have largely not kept up with the pace of globalization and our tendancy to see ourselves as inhabitants of a global village. Helping one individual at a time is a big "Make Work Program" which does not effectively address our needs as a group. Art therapy is perhaps the only approach to mental health which addresses social and individual aspects of the problem simultaneously by fostering dialogue between them. Other approaches, based on a medical model of treatment are primarily centered on the issues of individuals and therefore fall short in an essential dimension by failing to address the social factors involved in mental health issues. Most mainstream approaches to mental health in fact continue to exacerbate mental health deterioration in a global sense by continuing to fragment shared problems into microcosmic, individual issues. The short sightedness of the medical model for addressing the mental health epidemic resides in the failure to recognize that issues of grief, loss, depression, communication breakdown etc. are universal issues with individual manifestations. The result is millions of people suffering from depression, taking millions of pills to feel better while being completely unaware and disconnected from the fact that the same depression is in each of us to varying degrees and is not in fact their problem at all because it is a problem for which society is collectively responsible. This argument holds true for other group issues such as child abuse, violence, crime in general etc. 3) During the flu season, everyone with a diagnosis of Obssessive Compulsive Disorder, whose main diagnostic attribute happens to be compulsive obsessive hand washing and irrational fear of germs; should be entitled to have their diagnosis temporarily suspended. 4)I can tell when i'm feeling inadequate or insecure, because I tend to buy myself more clothes during such periods. When i purhchase a new shirt, I somehow get a renewed sense of self worth. 5) Staring at a woman in a bra and panties can get a man arrested, but staring at a woman in a thong bikini is expected and encouraged on the beach. 6) Individual shame is public business. Each person should be required to publicly name all of the things they are ashamed of as a rite of passage into current society. 7) Painting is like war. Small battles must be won for power to truly shift sides. First the painter strikes, then the painting strikes back and so forth until each battle is worked out and the power of self sustainable expression is released from within the painting itself. Sometimes a painter can lose too many battles with the piece, and lose the war. Such losses can be painful and I've experienced them many times. 8) Love is a verb. 9) Faced am i with the difficult task of reconciling my artistic identity as a painter with my professional identity as a primary school art teacher. Clearly, the two identities are not in opposition to each other or mutually exclusive. However, the school teacher dimension is a highly public sphere where exposure to public scrutiny is essential. It is just that a school teacher should be publicly accountable just as any person in a political position should be. However, the artist must be able to break free from this public opinion and judgement in order to create something which is truly unique and truly inovative. The artist must sacrifice his/her own feelings in the service of the art by using those feelings as a means to creation and not just for the sake of feeling something. Should the artist be too susceptible to the suggestions or values of those around him/her, then he/she will fall prey to those and take the path led by countless artists who depend upon the approval and favourable disposition of the public. Mass media hip hop has unmistakenly taken this path. In the case of mainstream hip hop, not only does the "art form" cater to it's public's demands, it actively seeks out it's public's desires and targets them in the same way a commercial targets a market. Decidely, this path can not lead to any positive change, for growth may only come from struggle and mainstream hip hop is too easy to swallow. 10) art has been slumbering. For so long now, we've looked at art as a function of consumption. For too long, art has been an object of desire, and as with masturbation, we've all taken part often with predictable results. However, our present times call for the purpose of art to shift from that of an aesthetic object to one of a prophetic object. For art does bring news from places we've been to but also from a place to which we are headed. Most, if not all of the technological devices we presently know of were first born as creations of the imagination and were first given life in Fiction. Fiction predicted what we can see today in technology from cell phones to space travel. We must learn again to listen to the music as our mothers and fathers could for in the music there is a message about where we are going individually and collectively. In the painting, especially the painting from the wellspring of the imagination, there is a tendency towards something which is universal and unspeakable. As mentioned in the small movie at, painting is the art of saying without words. As such, it is pre-verbal and therefore prehistoric in it's ability to communicate an essence of being, the humaneness of humanity the universalness of the universe. 11) Just watched the PBS documentary series entitled: "The Secret Life of the Brain" and what impressed me most was how top academics in the field of neurology, biologogy, geneticists use biblical words like "Odysee, creation, pilgrimage, miracle" etc. to describe the process of how the brain takes its form and various functions. 12) Painting is for me a lifelong process of discovering all of the time and space which can exist within a walnut shaped cell mass called the brain. 13) The local church in my neighbourhood uses one of it's ten confessionals as a broom closet. 14) a story made from the words found on a computer keyboard: As i Enter the space I Insert myself to wonder. It must be asked whether or not I can get Ctrl of myself in time and take the required actions for a Shift in perceptions. No matter when I try to keep a Tab on how I'm doing I invariably find that I can not Alter the true nature of my being, nor can I Delete , Backspace or Escape from my circumstance. I must make my Home where I am till the End. 15) The words we can find on a computer keyboard all seem to denote actions or nouns involved in what we do as humans throughout our lives: Enter, insert, shift, alter, control, end and Home are pretty much what we do no? 16) What if friendship is in fact just an agreement to not anihilate each other? 17) If the answers which we seek are illogical and non linear, we would never find them through our present means of inquiry. 17) Depression is the disease, not a symptom of a disease. 18) Everyone has a counsellor. 19) Paint is my God. 20) I'd like to create software that could tell any person which chronological order they were born in, in relation to every other human being so we could each have our own number. One person might be 4000 to the power of 5 or something like that, the next person could use the software to determine that they were the 10 millionth person born etc. Just a number, that's what we really need, is our own personal, intimate number. 21) martial arts have added a perceptual framework through which to perceive. There is now a new dimension to a modern Art Therapy. Kung Fu will probably lead the way interms of its universally accepted martial art theory and practice. Qi Gong will also lead. 23/11/2007 If there were only one problem with pure science it would be that it presumes a physical cause for whatever process it is investigating. It does not recognize that non-physical existence is possible. It assumes that a process can be investigated through experimental designs. A dog which chases its tale is running in circles. Science in this sense seeks the orgin of itself ultimately since science is always concerned with the "reason" for phenomenon. Yet it is possible that a phenomenon has no discernable "reason" 4/01/2008 The relationship between the one and the many is reciprocal and accounts for all of the variation of in perspective. This means that if you could own your own perspective and add everyone elses, you would have the sum total of all perspectives and therefore understand all disagreement. 5/01/2008 There are things known to consciousness which can not be spoken. Tears and Laughter are a couple of examples of these things. 10/01/2008 Don't tell me you think it's all chance. There is no way chance put you there, in that chair at this exact time and place simply to have you say: "it's all chance". All corporations emerge out of basic human need to supply that need. corporations want to be good citizens by making jobs and financial contributions to good causes. We must help them to be good citizens by showing them what we need and want more evidently and helping them to make the right choices. corporations are to serve the people, for the people, by the people and of the people. 05/02/2008 if i seem strange to you it's only because i choose to spend up to 8 hours per day staring in silence at a blank canvas trying to figure out what the best way to put colour and form on it would be. 05/02/2008 here is at least one other reality which i know of. It runs in parallel to the one which most of us share but it is completely different in terms of how space and time are experienced. I go to this place often when i paint, and i am convinced it is a completely seperate psychological and spiritual reality which is no less real and no less rich than the regular reality which most of us share. I can not take you there, but i can bring something back and show it to you. 06/02/2008 In painting, I need to keep several physical locations in perspective simultaneously never resting focus on just one. 06/02/2008 When painting, i'm often thinking of ways to destroy the house that ego built. 06/02/2008 When painting I am often flooded with words and memories of conversations. without fail, every time i pick up the brush, those things come back to me. 06/02/2008 Painting is an emptying of my subjective container. 06/02/2008 The only problem with cognitive behavioural therapists is that they have no feelings. 10/03/2008 Our commercial system, that is the system through which we buy and sell goods and services, is an adversarial system. It is a system in which the seller attempts to get the most from the consumer while providing the least and also a system in which the consumer attempts to get the most from the seller while providing the least in exchange as well. Make no mistake, anytime you buy something, a war is being fought through smiles, politeness and courteous falsities. In fact, if a salseperson is being polite with you, you are assured the experience of an inauthentic interaction. The only correct disposition to have in such an interaction is one which presents openely the true disdain and loathing which both the consumer and the seller have for eachother. 11/03/2008 Gommery has not even begun to shine within his destiny as hero to the people. His cards remain heavy and secret. But they will be laid. 23/03/2008 There is no Civisme in montreal. Feet on seats in the subway, people stand in each other's way, no holding of doors for the next person, no helping people out, no sense of social duty and responsibility. Recycling seems to be viewed as a favour the government does for us. Corruption and Mafia values are maintained. 23/03/2008 Any government which promotes one culture over another is misleading it's people into thinking it has their best interests at heart. Any government which acts in a divisive manner by say promoting french culture over english is a divisive government which hurts people and contributes to a lack of civism and a lack of people feeling connected to each other. French culture is no more relevant than any other and need not be fought for to maintain. It is commerce which errodes the lines of culture by pushing its brands and views on a people but it is people who make and are culture. There is no culture to protect if there are no people to be that culture. In short, I would do away completely with what we now know to be culture in Québec because the preservation of french and english lines only serves to divide the people. I would rather have everyone get along in two languages than argue about how to get along with just one. Some have suggested that Hitler's hate for the other can be conceptualized as a bi-product of an overwhelming love of self and i think it is a fine line between wanting to preserve one's culture and believing that others are somehow less worthy. Look at the Hasidic jews of montreal. A good example of a culture which has hermetically sealed itself off from the culture of the milieu surrounding it. Do you think generally speaking that Hasidic jews of montreal have any empathy or sense of civic duty to those cultures around them? Let's put the question in reverse: Do you have any sense of empathy or even affinity for Hasidic Jewish culture? At best, you are probably like me and most people and know nothing about Hasidic Jews as a people. A true culture of the people is lived through experiences of one's past and through stories passed down, through art of all kinds and yes through Language. But language difference in a sense only serves to confuse the core of the matter which is that there is only one culture and that this particular culture to which I refer requires no fight to preserve it for it is universal human culture. We are human first and cultural beings only as a distant second and a culture is not worth preserving if it belongs to people who are not loving beings first. There is only one force which truly errodes culture. Only one force which must be checked and balanced because it has no regard for either individual-local, or universal-global culture of humanity. That force is mainstream commerce. If one want's to learn about another people's culture, one must invest and travel to the place where that culture is. It can not be imported. 23/03/2008 An opaque reality is one through which you see nothing. 28/03/2008 When a surrealist laughs, it's a compliment. 06/04/2008 I keep my rational mind locked up like a slave kept around only to do the bidding of a fundamentally irrational self. You do the same but are less likely to admit it. 13/04/2008 I recently experienced a painful hot water burn on my arm. when the skin broke away, i cleared it, leaving an exposed wound of about 2X2 inches in diameter. With this first layer of skin removed, i observed that the ambient temperature is much colder than previously thought. I also observed that it can hurt to be touched by air. This experience has changed how i see the world. 13/04/2008 I've reached an age when I'm more affraid of getting away with it than getting caught. 14/04/2008 Inequity is not a bi-product of capitalism, it is a producer. It produces jobs the same way fires produce firefighters, crimes produce police jobs, lack of education produces the massive industrial education complex. Inequity rooted in class, race, sexual orientation and gender produces hundreds of different jobs employing millions of people. Sorry, what we have been doing so far does'nt seem to be working even though it looks like it's working. 14/04/2008 The Quebec cultural issues in debate for hundreds of years actually contributes to the errosion of culture and community on the whole within the province. When people are fighting over which territories will belong to people of which languages, there are others who would benefit from the cahos. While English and French groups are in a passive aggressive stalemate, battling to determine who's right to exist takes precedent, both are effectively living in a disputed territory. This territory is not unlike Israel or Palestine in which Israelis and Palestinians people's fight to claim a home but never actually live in one. Some would argue that Christian and American political structures benefit when Israel and Palestine fight, the same way that Hyenas and Vultures benefit from the work of Lions on a troup of Gazelles. My usual and perhaps somewhat cynical Modus Operandi of "Follow the Money" seems to apply. We need to ask ourselves, who benefits financially or materially from a conflict around language and culture in Quebec? Who benefits materially from land and ressource disputes in the Middle east? Who benefits from war in Irak? Following the money answers so many questions regarding how and why things happen, and yet, it is still not our main focus of inquiry in either news research or public inquiry of any kind. In my ideal society, everyone's salary is public. There is no reason why what one person takes from the communal table of goods should be secret. You would not go to a pot luck, serve yourself several times while hiding both what you brought and what you took by eating in a closet would you? The only people who want to maintain secrecy around their salaries, are people who have reason to hide it. When the revolution comes, the first questions will be how much money did you make, and what did you do to earn it? these questions will determine which streams citizens will follow for processing. 22/04/2008 I know that a humbling is good for me, even though it tastes bitter. 22/04/2008 I need to leave a record of my life on this earth because my life must be worth something passing on rather than passing away. 02/05/2008 I no longer accept people who don't accept other people. As a result i no longer accept part of myself. 05/05/2008 I've looked at the thing a thousand different times from all sorts of angles, never actually seeing it. I've tried every way of talking about it. I've tried to define it as verbs, adjectives but still it evades my every attempt to ascertain it. Before you tell me you don't know what i'm talking about, let me tell you that i think you know perfectly well what I mean because i'm talking about that which is beyond my understanding. I am talking about that which has no reason but is nonetheless. 22/05/2008 I was looking for my paint brush the other day but could not find it anywhere even though i was looking directly at it. I inspected the set of 5 or 6 brushes over and over again, each time, looking at the brush i was seeking, without realizing that it was what I was looking for. I realized that the image i had in my mind was not a correct representation of the brush, as it was in reality. As I looked at the pack of brushes the one i was looking for, slowly started to appear, as the image i had in my mind morphed from a distorted representation into an accurate 1 to 1 representation of the object. I could actually feel the perceptual shift happening in my brain as my mental picture changed to accomodate the reality of the object. I have learned that what I see in my mind as true, is not necessarily so. My memory of the brush may differ from the way the brush actually is. You may have experienced a similar phenomenon when looking for something in the fridge which you do not see even though it is right in front of your nose. When we are looking for something important like house keys or wallet, we are somewhat anxious about finding it. I believe that this anxiety is an impediment to attending to the present time and space where the object is most likely located. When we are looking in a specific place we are not attending to the bigger picture of 'places' where the object most likely is. it seems our attention is able to look at either a specific location or a general area, but not both. Specialists and generalists may need each other after all. 25/05/2008 There is as much to learn about oneself as there is about the entire universe. You may ask how can the quantity of knowledge to be gleaned from one individual's experience be equal to or greather than the knowledge we could gain from studying the entire cosmos. The answer is that knowledge is not quantifyable, at least not precisely. we can get an idea of whether or not a person has a certain knowledge or not, but we can not as of yet quantify the sum total of an individuals knowledge. I believe knowlege to be irreducibly complex as a phenomenon and that inasmuch as it can not be quantified, we are at extreme odds when trying to qualify what knowlege is. Is it experience? is it rote learning? is it conscious or unconscious? Upon looking into my own experience, even within the confines and parameters of experience related only to the activity of painting, i am always taken to the conclusion that there is an infinite amount of learning which can be done. The proof of this is that hundreds and thousands of lifetimes have passed since painting began in caves, and we still do it. That must be because it continues to teach us something untangible and bring us a certain kind of inexhaustible and unquantifiyable knowledge. The rational and reductive knowledge which is privileged over all others in our society is but one form of knowledge. Subjective, experiencial knowledge is greatly underestimated in terms of its usefulness and this underestimation bears grave consequences on the development of intelligence in human kind. 26/05/2008 The only question which evolution can not answer is "evolution from what?" 26/05/2008 Evolution does not trump spirituality but does kill religion. 16/06/2008 I got a cold chill briefely a few days ago. As soon as I felt cold, the image of my beer, forgotten in the freezer emerged. The cold in my body, reminded me of the freezer and my beer. This is an example of corporeal memory through which a physical sensation can evoke a mental image. 21/06/2008 A prison guard in a sercure max prison in the U.S is like a god as far as the inmates are concerned. he operates the light, food, sound, temperature and everything which an inmate sees and feels. this scenario is exactly analoguous to the situation in which God provides all of the stimuli that man experiences. The difference is that in prison, man has the experience of a world which is ex-machina while man on earth has no direct experience of an environment outside of the one he is confined to. 21/06/2008 The unconscious is taken to be true because it can be shown that a mechanism or process defined as the unconscious systematically produces predictable results. However, the unconsious has never directly been observed because it does not exist within any definable space. This means we can infer it is there, make predictions based on our theory of it, but we can never actually see it with our own eyes. The unconsious is therefore a phenomenon akin to the shadows in Plato's cave. 22/06/2008 08/09/2008 Politics are in the heart of each one of us. our democracy is one of the illusion of free choice just as our choice of products in the supermarket aisles is made in the illusion of free choice. All competing products belong to the same producer, futureshop and best buy are the same store, Pharmaprix and Shopper's Drug Mart are the same store, republicans, democrats, liberals and conservatives all one dragon with many heads. The position to not not vote is a defensible one and I have never found anyone either a politician or any doctoral degreed debaters to convince me convincingly that the "no vote" is a fundamentally flawed choice. Many have accused my non voting as immoral, lax, irresponsible and even unpatriotic. Most people vote thiking they understand politics but failing to understand it's most fundamental concept which is as the feminists put it that: "the personal is political" and that the heart of the man does matter. We pay attention to things like impressions given to us during speeches, and we place value on a candidates experiences and education, but we do not ever really look at the man or woman running and who they are. The biographies of Canadian prime ministers always come out after they have served their terms, not before, like they should. There is always too much information and not enough time when decisions really count but if you want to pick between two t.v shows or two types of margerine, you can think about that all night if you want. I do not have enough faith in decision making processes to believe that we will make the right choice either. By not voting, we are voting to break the system completely in order to rebuild it and to demonstrate that people's votes are not even required for a government to be in power. If nobody voted in the next election, what would happen? A government would move into place anyway of course. Votes based on common sense are mislead by people who know so much about how common sense works that they can manipulate it into complete nonesense. We don't like to think of ourselves in this way, but the truth is that hypnosis is only the tip of the iceberg and that we are highly influenced and that sometimes, so called free thinking, highly educated people are just as easily influenced through subliminal message, appeal to reptilian brain, unconscious motivation and other means. We are basically not as smart as any of us think we really are, though we may be excellent specialists in various fields, being truly intelligent on intellectual and emotional levels is phenomenally rare. As rare as Ghandi's and Bhudda's. 08/09/2008 All living things have a beginning, a middle and and end. The world we know is one which has only revealed to us the middle part. We don't know how it started, or how it will end, but we can imagine both things happening. 15/09/2008 Culture will follow the same basic trend towards globalization which is dictated by the enomical and political movements of our times. Individuality will persist, but it's significance and identifying factors will shift from cultural ones to ever more universal ones. A person's uniqueness will no longer be a function of where they are from, what their cultural roots have imparted upon them but will depend more on what that particular individual experienced, how they experienced it and what it meant to their development. In taking this avenue towards a Global culture, the universal aspects of what makes us human will surface. At present, we know that nearly every culture has notions of male and female, god and devil, love and hate, living and dying and all of the fundamental existentialist issues which we seek to know through culture. However, we also recognize, that each culture, as different as it appears, is fundamentally similar to each other culture, with only superficial differences based in language and symbolization. An example of this is illustrated by the many names given to the concept of Deity or God accross various cultures, all describing the same essential entity or set of properties. The next step is for us to do away with culture entirely as we know it, because it does not render us civilized individuals but on the contrary, splits us into groups and fragments us into factions, distracting us from our true destiny which is to be as one and to become that which we seek to understand. 15/09/2008 We have long looked outside of ourselves to see what we wish to know. All of our external gaze has sprung from an internal one, reflected outwards. Going to the moon is an example of the inward desire for exploration and understanding, turned outwards. Looking at cells in a petrie dish illustrates an interest in understanding what happens inside of us. Plunging to the depths of the ocean exemplifies our wish to undertand the world in which we live but also the world which lives within us because we are nearly 80% water. The question is always, is Psyche inside of us or are we in the Psyche? 20/09/2008 no problem can be solved until it is owned. 20/09/2008 in painting, a shadow is like a liquid in that, if you can find the pressure points associated with its movement, you can estimate where it will fall. 20/09/2008 what many of us call god, all of us call love. That is love and God as not only the feeling or sensation of wellbeing and oneness but the conviction of wellbeing and oneness. When the feeling and the conviction are one, there is no defensive position on earth which can protect you if you are wrong. 20/09/2008 The question is not whether you are neurotic or not, it is what do you do now that you are neurotic. 20/09/2008 Just as with the college of scientists there are other colleges which have codes, intersubjectively verified data upon which their assumptions reside. theory in both colleges is proven true many times but through different means, and with different results. The college of like minded individuals of which i'm speaking is the college of people whom believe that ojective knowledge can be understood and grasped internally through intersubjective processes base in the senses. Science has shown that the senses are not reliable sources of objective data. Intersubjective data however is another matter entirely. it is anther matter because intersubjective experience is evidence of an objective effect on a subjective being. Therefore, intersubjective validity holds that simply because a group of people believe they are affected by objective causes, they are. In short, I belong to a college of like minded individuals who belive that things can be true, just because you believe them to be true and not necessarily because they are objectively true. 20/09/2008 be the god you wish to believe in. 22/09/2008 When we cry for the loss of a loved one for example, our tears embody a number of different things which we generally refer to as mourning. In the shed tears, there are other painful memories such as past trauma (what happened to us?), future anxiety (What is going to happen to us?) and present confusion (What is happening?). Tears for the loss of a loved one flow as triggered by the event, but also continue to flow depending on how much material they dig up and drag out with them. In this theory of operating factors in depression, the extent of mourning, the duration and severity of symptoms depends largely on how much depressive material is dredged up by the triggering event. In accordance with this model of operating factors in depression we can see how preventitive art therapy might be used to reduce base line levels of depression (also known as daily depression) by allowing the emotional system to vent out depressed feelings periodically, thereby minimizing the impact of depressive triggers such as the loss of a loved one. In fact preventative art therapy serves to reduce the risk of severe depression by training the emotional mechanism to vent periodically and to use the therapeutic processes of symbolization to cope with depression when it happens. 22/09/2008 Rather than look back at the great depression, or World Wars to say, "how could we have been so stupid?" I prefer to look into the mirror every day and remind myself that i'm not as smart as i think i am. It's a kind of ego abuse which inhibits egotistical over inflation and narcissistic tendencies. 02/10/2008 I have never voted in a federal election. Though many have a problem with this choice of mine, i've justified it to myself by saying that by not voting, I choose the side of those who can not or do not vote. Children, the mentally ill, the deceased, the elderly, the oppressed are all people who can not or do not vote. My abstinence is in solidarity with theirs. 19/10/2008 many groups of people have insight into how groups of people behave. Managers of corporations, ceo's of marketing companies, psychologists, the government, banks, owners of the internet all have tremendous insight into what groups of people do and what they are interested in. We have to ask ourselves: What do they use this knowlege for? I suppose they use it for different reasons.. But each is definitely using that information to do something with it. In some cases it seems to be more manipulation of us than anything else. In other instances it seems to benefit us greatly. Whatever the case, knowing what groups of people do is powerful knowledge for someone who wishes to have power. In fact, education workers are a major group of people who know what people do and what they are interested in. Who knows more about how we learn and how we are likely to respond to that learning than teachers. Teachers may have more pull or clout than any other group among those mentioned above. Yes, teachers can affect the machine, and because they are like minded individuals they should normally be easy to assemble into a movement of thought and action. 23/10/2008 The names sir and madam originated when people discovered there were haves and have-nots. At that time it was learned that some distance between us would be helpful in protecting us from each other. So the terms Sir and Madam originated and helped people of higher class to maintain distance from those who wish them ill and want their possessions. However, the titles Sir and Madam also serve the function of helping ordinary people gain some knowledge of whom they are speaking to. If you are approached with sir or madam as a designation, you are probably more likely to be engaged because you feel the engaging party has respect for you. 23/10/2008 I once called a black man Sir and he was deeply offended. He said to me: 'my name is Joe, not sir, you need to call me by my name'. For him, I suppose, being called Sir seemed condescending because black people have spent so long calling white people Sir. In any event, there I was in a politically tense moment because I had offended someone's sense of history and culture by attempting to show them respect. It was an odd situation which did make me think about the meaning of the denominations of Sir and Madam. 23/10/2008 We must have an open discussion to get some closure. We must try so we can fail, give to take, be to cease being, have not to have, not see to see, 31/10/2008 what i have now is inevitably what my ancestors stole from others. 31/10/2008 Each word, each thought must be crafted as if a work of art because to do otherwise is to open oneself up to the possibility of speaking and thinking garbage. 15/11/2008 Cognitive behavioural psychology is in the process of demonstrating how there is 'nothing to fear but fear itself'. It is soon to be shown that what you believe to be true is actually true for you in an absolute fashion, even though you may be completely wrong about it. 15/11/2008 Evolutionists are not against religion but instead worship animals. 15/11/2008 When I look at a budgie or a puppy, I often feel that i too could worship animal. When i see such vulnerability, i wonder if I'm not in the presence of a god who has something to teach me. 23/11/2008 In my painting, I seek to induce a cognitive behavioural phenomenon known as dissonance. 23/11/2008 Post rationalization will define anything anyway we want. 23/11/2008 The consciousness required to fly a fighter plane is doubled in power because it consists of two pilots, sitting one in front of the other, looking in the same direction at times and different directions at others, while being intimately linked through technology. This phenomenon is an actual exemplification of the scientific concept of the 'The Borg' featured in the science fiction series known as 'Star Trek'. 23/11/2008 A scientific graph in which the hills and valleys change hues or color tonal values, would be able to represent a measurement of both quantitative and qualitative data. Current black and white graphing matrix does not allow this qualitative and quantitative, subjective and objective data to be measured simultaneously. 23/11/2008 It can be unwise to rely on objective measurement to tell us about experience because when we ascribe quantitative value to qualitative data, we are loosing our ability to accurately represent the data and convey its meaning. 23/11/2008 In a painting, I wish to show both a picture and the window which looks on to the picture. I do this with a big frame indicating the passage on to the picture, through the frame. The Frame represents the process involved in getting to the picture. 28/11/2008 Good rock music is like having wind in my hair. Led Zeppelin, whether one likes rock or not, is generally considered to be avant-garde and close to perfection in rock and roll style. Listening to Zeppelin is like having wind in my hair. Not unrelated is the observation that many people who listenned to the group had long hair and the group members themselves all had long hair. Maybe all were feeling sensations related to the music and affecting them through their long hair. 01/12/2008 The greatest advantage of group therapy over antidepressants in the treatment of Depression is that group therapy addresses the causes of depression while simultaneously fostering the conditions for a cure by enabling greater access to community and authentic human contact. Antidepressants, like electroshock therapy, simply trick the body into not feeling depressed. Prescribing medication alone for depression is like giving a baby water but no food. The water will get you a good part of the way towards meeting nutritional requirements, but without food, one would just prolong an inevitable starvation. 01/12/2008 There are individuals within couples who want their counselors to tell them exactly what to say to their partners. It has always amazed me how often this seems to happen, and each time I think to myself that the individual might feel as though they are a puppet, or an actor on a stage being told exactly what to do and say by an inner voice. Possibly the voice of their parents. I often feel as though injected directly into the relationship when this happens. As though I were being placed in there as a buffer, the process the emotional content and respond to it. A unique feeling to be sure. 04/12/2008 An upcoming painting will be entitled "Of Reticence and Resistance". 07/12/2008 Without community, I am nothing. 07/12/2008 Empathy is a feeling, Compassion and action. 08/12/2008 True compassion requires us to view the situation from outside of ourselves in order to know how the other is feeling. When we see someone cry, we instinctively know that pain, even though we are not feeling it direcetly, have no other connection to the person and are not directly involved in what is causing pain. Tears of sadness and joy are universal and so we can have intimate knowledge of someones emotional or spiritual status if we can identify and sense their emotions. It is through the emotional dimension that intersubjectivity is achieved and experiencial proof can be within a subjective experiementation framework can occur. Isolated scientific experiments require a different kind of proof, but must always refer back to subjectivity and experiencial data for interpretation, because there are no scientific means or laws governing interpretation. Today's tendency towards Cognitive behavioural and short term counseling approaches negates, side-steps and fails to address the wider picture of the emotional dimension of experience. It is the emotional experience which after all, accounts for why anxious people, make others anxious and for why depressed people tend to increase feelings of depression in the people around them. Emotions in those contexts are not only hereditary in part, but also contagious. Anxiety is fear, and fear is contagious, as can be observed simply by screaming "fire" while traveling on a plane. Cognitive Behavioural Sciences have gained momentum in the empirical age by sidestepping the question: "Why" which has dominated philosophical and intellectual discourse almost exclusively up until the beginning of the 19th century when technological advances and the early beginnings of the industrial-consumption complex took root, leading us to think only about that which appears to be outside of ourselves. At some point, with few notable but important exceptions like Freud and the psychodynamic theorists and artists (who were always looking inside anyway), very little attention has been paid to what is going on inside of us. This means that the importance placed on asking questions which have not been answered positively yet, has dwindled. In our modern times, we have little time for looking in. This means there are fewer spaces where people can meet in security and exchange not just information, but experience. The internet has brought people together for the purposes of sharing, but an essential dimension of the experience is lost when you remove it from the context of the time, space, physicality of the individual telling the story. Though it's true that the story lives on, the person is forgotten. This would be o.k if the person were deceased but they are not, they are alive, and forgotten! To share experience, we need places which are conducive to sharing and which provide an atmosphere of tranquility, peace and security enabling conversation and connection. In short, we need community structures in place to foster learning across boundaries. It has become almost cliche to say that there is no time to ponder who we are and where we are going. If you are not doing science, research, medecine or law, what are you doing after all? Nothing important. I believe that in my lifetime, we will see a fundamental return to essential values of community and a turning away from our current material driven interests. That is my prediction. 14/12/2008 I used to find it strange that someone could become so lost. Someone could make wrong choices at each opportunity, wrong turns at each fork, and turn a seemingly undiminishable advantage into a total loss. I found it strange that a man could end up sleeping in a subway station, lying down on a ceramic floor, with his head on a concrete pillow. When I saw this man at Mcgill metro station, I looked at his dirty, clothed body and asked myself how he could have wound up accepting this state of poverty as his life. Surely, I said to myself, this man had choices, and to at least some extent, his being homeless and sleeping where many of us walk is a result of those choices. I now realize that true as that may be, it is actually quite easy to end up completely lost, without a single beacon left to guide us. One simple character flaw would do the trick. If the flaw is robust enough it could create a domino effect, causing every other chance at achievement to tumble. Such a flaw might be Pride, Jealousy, Insecurity, Envy (I realize some of these are also Cardinal sins talked about in the bible, but that is only incidental). Naturally, in addition to any of these character traits and the choices which are ever motivated by them, there are undetermined, random or cahotic factors at play such as losing one's health, job, loved ones, home etc. But at each of these undetermined (or "predetermined" or "extra-determined" depending on how you look at it) moments, the individual has a chance or an opportunity to use the tools and assets of his being to cope. Extra-determination (meaning: that which is determined by forces outside of the subjective) is in a constant dance with determinism (meaning free will, or all that is determined within the subjective). This dance is exemplified when I, the painter intentionally drip a blob of paint onto a canvas but then remove myself from the equation by letting the extra-determined forces such as gravity, time do the rest of the work. 14/12/2008 The cognitive behaviourists can be reproached for one major and unforgivable failing: Having given up on questions of consciousness, existentialism, spirit, community. They side step the issues entirely and Watson reportedly said: "Never use the terms consciousness, mental states, mind..." (1913). By focussing exclusively on the concrete, rational, observable, human existence is reduced to purely material manifestations when most of us would agree, we are so much more than the sum of our thoughts and our actions. Our feelings are not irrelevant, not even to science, they are only harder to examine. 03/01/2009 My perceptions and judgements are kept in a sort of third party container. I view my perceptions as sometimes happening through a third party. This is not dissociation in the pathological sense, but dissociation in a more adaptive capacity because it earns me the power of increased objectivity. Once i have relatively objectively seized or understood the matter being considered, i can then view it from a container which is closer to the 'real me' because i can then apply an emotion focused attention to the same matter and see how my judgement changes the perception. I can therefore be aware of how my emotions colour and shape what i perceive. 03/01/2008 We ought not say that Love conquers all. It is in fact just we who are the conquerers of all evil and obstacles though we use Love to do it. The love is in us, we must cultivate it, nourish it and allow it to grow so we can use it to achieve our goals. Freud's notion of libido, is what we may come to feel as the sensation of loving. 03/01/2009 In film making and screen writing for historicaly representative films, screen writers use freudian concepts to tell the story. For example, a mechanism of freudian symbolisation is called 'condensation' and in screen writing, a writer uses combination of characters called 'combination' in which the attributes of one charater are fused with the attributes of another to create a hybrid character. embodying both essential characters. In Freudian dream analysis, condensation refers to a tendency of the dreamer to condense, or combine features of two different characters into one symbolic form. 03/01/2009 Today is an important day for me as a painter because I leaned a lesson which i have long been wainting to learn. The lesson involves the technique of painting and how i can change my technique to represent something which is closer to my heart. This is why i teach technique to children. A matery of the method contributes to a freedom of expression. The method must be mastered to allow the slave freedom. 03/01/2009 With regards to the lesson mentioned above: I have long known that my technique was in need of evolution. However, i did not know the exact form that evolution would take. I only knew that there were painters whom i admired and that these painters were different from me, separated by me through a common denominator. Technique was at issue. Myself and these other painters were saying the same things. I knew this because symbolic language comes easy to me. I can see the reflection in the glass. I'm not being arrogant or conceited but trust me, i have been with people who have not inclination for symbolic levels and I have been able to compare what i perceive which how they are seeing things and I can assure you that I have an additional sense in comparison with them. Many people have it. Painters who are serious, have this sense. That is how I know that I share common ideas with other painters even though vast leaps in technique separate us on a visual level. Heidi Taillefer and I share the same symbolic dialogue even though her technique is far more advanced than my own. 08/01/2008 Techique of course, being determined solely by experience. 10/01/2009 In times of recession, a good job to have is the job of: Witness to one's own experience. Actually, I have just appointed myself to the position of: High Comissioner of Internal Investigations Of the Purpose of my Own Existence. If nobody else wants the jobe, I'll take it. Better I fill that position than give it up to someone else anyway. I would never for instance vote to elect someone who purported to fulfill that position. 10/01/2009 Everything that god has made, I can imagine making as a painter. It occured to me one day that the sky is perceptually made up of brushstrokes to the point where it is possible to confuse a naked eye into thinking that a painting of a sky is actually a photograph of a sky. A skilled painter can do this. 13/01/2008 Cognitive science developed along side computer science and technology and artificial intelligence. Cognitive science used the computer model as a model for the brain and the functioning of human beings. This solidified the era of man as machine where the rules which govern us became the same rules which govern machines. These era is evident in the advent of nanotechnology which mimics behaviours, previously only possible of living organisms. 18/01/2009 Un jour, notre espèce humaine sera peut-être reconnue non pour ses accomplissements mais pour toutes les choses qu'elle aurait pu accomplir. 22/01/2009 Art in culture went a long way towards curbing racism and other forms of rejection of the other self. While it is easily possible to hate another culture or group it is much less easy to reject a musical trend or an artistic expression when we have have no information about who is producing it. As with a blind taste test, we may find ourselves enjoying and being touched by the art form of a despised people. A Nazi might have enjoyed music made by a Jew before knowing the origin of the music. White people in the southern U.S might have enjoyed music originating in Black communities before realizing that black artists made the music. In fact, this is exactly what happened. Soul and Funk and Blues music went a long way to showing racist people that whatever one may feel about the image of blacks, the soul of a black person is rich, deep, profound and interesting. 04/02/2009 For some time now, i have been hoping, waiting, anticipating a major break in the system. Is it wrong to hope that something breaks so you can build it up again? The system we are living in is broken in so many fundamental ways that there is no hope of its continued existence. it is not sustainable. everyone knows this. This is the generation of the question: 'when will the house of cards fall down?' I hope that in the present recession we are all obliged to reconsider previous propositions and beliefs. Invariably, this is what occurs when the financial machine breaks down. People are forced to reconsider their basic values. There is nothing like being unemployed to help one contemplate the workings of one's universe. I hope we will take the time to put it all back into question. Sometimes, one's destructive wish is a wish for rebirth and creation. Too many look to depressed or angry people and brush them off with a single judgement. These angry people sometimes can and should express their rage in a calculated and direct fashion towards constructive destructivism. Unfortunately when people do express anger it is often with the consequence of pointlessness. People are killed, things are destroyed but there is not message, no lesson, nothing is learned because these people are labeled as crazy, derranged. 04/02/2009 Un espace particulier est crée dans un cardre d'art thérapie. C'est un espace dans lequel les élèves peuvent passer un moment non-verbal ensembles. Un espace ou les mots n'ont plus la même valeur parce que le comportement est privilégié. Dans une telle circonstance, nous sommes en coopération les uns avec les autres, tout en restant unique et individuel. Nous pouvons apprendre à apprendre avec nos yeux, en regardant. Nul autre espace existe tout à fait comme celui-ci. 22/02/2008 Oddly enough, when I look at psychological theories of development, whether cognitive or learning or psychodynamic, I tend to notice that there is this spiritual subtext to the concepts which seem to imply some conflict between good and evil. It is no surprise that all psychological theories of development and personality suggest that good prevails and that when evil happens it is abnormal and pathological. What i have just said is especially true of Freud's notions but seems to hold accross the board. 12/03/2009 Art theray's achievements will be felt more in terms of global effects rather than individual accomplishments. 12/03/2009 Every corporation depends on our thought and feelings about them in order to do business. We should only give our positive thoughts and feelings and actions to those corporations which most deserve it. 12/03/2009 It is an incredible irony that economic depression is sometimes the trigger for psychological depression. You have to admit that is a weird coincidence. 23/03/2009 The epitaph of humanity may read: "A victim of their own success" or maybe "Humans could have done so much, but did so little". The idea that depressed people see the world in more realistic ways, an idea advanced here: is an idea that I can support intuitively. There is no doubt that having a keen sense of perception and being able to see the human world for what it is, could be extremely depressing to a lot of people. Whenever I have presented this idea to a psychologist or someone who actively works to support depressed people, they are usually scandalized and accuse me of pessimism. In support of all this is the CBC video: "The Truth About Liars" found here: This Video presents that lying to self and others to create a collective or personal illusion is an evolutionary necessity without which our society could not funtion. 23/03/2009 Heroism is no longer a human attribute but belongs to other animals as well. It seems there are less and less things which we can claim to be ours alone. Even empathy, this miraculous ability to feel the soul of another being is not the sole domain of humans. In a world where everyone thinks they are special, I thought it would be good to bring everyones ego down a notch, in the interests of self preservation and love for humanity. For the video of a dog saving another dog look here: 23/03/2009 The role of experiential knowledge has consistently diminished through the ages to a point where reason alone dictates where we go and what we should do. Reason has trumped not only desire but also experiential knowledge as a whole. Put in anatomical terms, the frontal cortex has taken over the show. There is no longer a senate hearing to debate decisions within each mind, only one dictator calling all the shots. His name is reason. But pure reason is a fallacy. It does not tell you how to parent your teenager. It does not help you determine whether you will have children or not either, since there are so few rational reasons for having children. The only rational reason for having children would be to ensure the continuity of species, but this reasonning is flawed today because the world is over populated and under fed. Reason does not explain your feelings, or maybe we should say it does explain your feelings, but then you still have to feel them, so it can not replace your feelings. Emotions are integral to ////////////////// 31/03/2009 St. Patrick's day is a good example of what happens when commerce and business are allowed to hijack culture. The celebration has become a drunken orgy where drinking to the point of oblivion is encouraged. The result is that bar owners make a killing while there is little or no sense of the original meaning of what St. Patrick's day means. I, myself do not know what it means. Commerce has ruined everything about the event and the cultural significance of the celebration. It is a return to the reptilian hedonism of alcohol and sex before after and during the corporately sponsored parade. This idea of culture being supplanted or hijacked by business is also evident in Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Valentines Day festivities, all apparently run and operated by Coca-Cola and Chocolate producers. 04/04/2009 I own part of everything I hate about the world but also part of everything I Love. 04/04/2009 Sometimes a sad movie like Seven Pounds can pull a string in you and make you feel sad. Sometimes music pullls that string too. At times maybe any art can strike a chord in us to remind us of what we feel we are. 04/04/2009 The art therapists remedy for solitude and isolation is visual creative process combined with fitting music. The therapeutic effects of both of these interventions is sufficient to temporarily aleviate isolation and solitude but community is the long term solution to those things. 04/04/2009 Learning to paint consists of learning possibly thousands or hundreds of thousands of micro operations which will help to convey the painting. For the painting to be rendered rules of proportion, distance, space, colour, depth etc...this list of things to consider on the painterès task list literally goes on forever). For an entire lifetime of work, the painter can learn new lessons and so the term master is invalid. No one can master painting because painting is our master. 04/04/2009 How many times per day do we block our trust? We must block it to do make money, to survive and to thrive, to compete. Letè's put an end to Darwin's implicit prediction for our species and put a limit on what he taught us. Much respect, and much love for D-man but enough is enough. 04/04/2009 I would define myself as a post rationalist. Someone who finds that so much valuable knowledge lies outside of the confines of rationality. We can sense without knowing as Jung 04/04/2009 There is only room in my heart for justice, not for vengeance and retribution. 07/04/2009 Art is not what we do, it is what we are. 01/05/2009 Science is unlike art in many ways, though the two are similar in others. Science is more directly entwined with the machinations of economic factors. Scientists do not work like artists because they are more dependant on money for research. Scientists do not work on problems for free, in their basements or labs because they can not sustain research without some form of external feeding or funding, nor do they seem to want to work for virtue and community contribution alone. Artists, however, are working for free every day, in their studios, toiling away on creative expression which is invaluable to our understanding of origins and destinations. Science follows the money, unless you think that Science leads and money follows the best science. Money determines what science pays attention to. Money determines who will learn science through university education. Virtually nobody can learn science without going through high level university education but we can teach eachother art. We learn art through experience. 11/06/2009 One can not merely think like an author whom one loves. If you love Jung, you must act out your interpretation of what he is saying. Ultimately, if you absorb a theory, and that theory moves you, you will move according to the theory. This is what we try to do with our religious beliefs. Ergo, therapeutic theory mimics what religion does for us in many ways. Psychotherapeutic theory in the forms of existentialist, narrative, psychodynamic thought must be lived out to be understood. In that sense, therapeutic theory is again like religion because you have to try it to believe it, (or at least give it a chance). 11/06/2009 I've heard that some people on wall street refer to the free market economy as 'the factory'. Are we living in a factory? The commanding heights of the economy control everything from what time i get up to what I eat and where I live. They don't just influence it, they control it. This is why I understand when hip hop geniuses Dead Prez say they don't want a piece of the pie because they want control of the kitchen. 11/06/2009 L'approche envers le jeune déficient intellectuel doit être imbibée de légèreté. Tant de choses sont lourdes ailleurs. 12/07/2009 I have seen the comfort in which people of the suburbs live. I have seen the utter most tranquility and comfort with which they go about their gardening and day to day activities. I have seen how they drive their cars to the mall to get milk and take part in some sort of community. I have seen how their homes are perfectly decorated with trinkets from various stores designed just for them. I have seen for myself how living in a suburb can facilitate mental weakness and total absence of questioning about self and other. I have seen how the comfort of patio furniture has replaced all other needs and questions about bigger issues. I have seen how the illusion of prosperity masks the reality of despair and I have been horrified by these things which i have seen. 12/07/2009 One of the most spiritual experiences i have ever had occured when i quit smoking. The inner conflict, the urge to return to my dependence juxtaposed with the faith and knowledge that i was on the right path. At times like that, you hear god's voice, even if you don't believe in god. 09/08/2009 At the age of 35 i have just become aware that i live under the constant threat of male aggression. I live under this threat not because i have enemies, nor because I am political, but i live under this threat because i am an ordinary citizen. Though the male remains eternally useful, male aggression has worn out its welcome. 09/08/2009 There is a little bit of a lie in all that we do. 09/8/2009 The idea behind neuroplasticity implies that attention can shape physical form. In other words, the idea is that thought shapes matter. I'm not sure that anyone realizes this or not, but that idea is akin to suggesting mind over matter. 16/08/2009 Strange to think this way but we are all participating in a kind of concentration camp mentality. Some of us are guards, others prisoners. Those of us who are guards are complicit, without ever actually talking about it. We work together to achieve a common goal while also competing with each other for rank. The fact that we are competing with each other for rank is why we do not ever actually sit down and talk about the evil deeds we are doing together. The oppression, inflicting of war, enslavement of neighbours is just secondary work which has to be done by everyone with a job to some degree. We don't talk about that, becaus we are busy in the immediate moment with trying to get ahead of the person to our immediate right or left. When you are running a race, you don't think about your starting point or the people behind you, you think about what is in front. If you shift your attention to what is behind you, you must for a moment lose sight of what is in front. Our attention is not very good at being in two places at once. So we continue forward, getting ahead, moving to progress. We don't ever stop to compare pay cheques. That is how you know that we are complicit in this global act of self terror where the aggressor and the victim are one and the same. If we stopped to compare pay cheques we might find that the illusion of meritocracy is just that, an illusion. We would find that those who have hired us to do their bidding have done so under false pretense. United we stand, divided we fall. All in al, we're just another brick in the wall. 16/08/2009 I am sure I have already pointed to this a hundred times but the power of attention is the greatest power we possess to affect change. With it, we determine what buildings are standing and which one's fallen, who is where, what is what, when, how and why of everything. Attention is the ultimate mobilization of psychic ressources towards an action. The Buddhists are definitely on to something with meditation. Something most of us have no patience but much desire to understand. 16/08/2009 How do you tell people that suffering breeds character and that suffering is required for optimal growth when they already believe they are victims, entitled to some form of compensation. 20/08/2009 I am against both capital punishment and the punishment of capital. Nous pouvons succomber à la peine de mort ou dit autrement, être mort de peine. 20/08/2009 If we can dissect the disseminator we can see into the matrix of the messages subliminally instilled within us. 20/08/2009 The Soloist is the name of a movie which promotes the virtue of creative process over God. 20/08/2009 At the end, I think we are measured less for what we did than for how we did it. The why of what we have done remains inconsequential and we should not spend too much time thinking about it. 20/08/2009 The word Hero in the west is equivalent to the word Martyr in the East. 24/08/2009 Jung says that the artist sometimes tells of forcomming changes in the collective unconscious. If that is true, than i have become increasingly alarmed by the increased arrogance and narcissism i see around me. Though i own part of it for sure, i perceive it as originating primarily from without myself. I am vexed and insulted by it. It worries me deeply to hear there are people who not only believe in some thing greater than themselves but actually proudly claim to believe in Nothing. 03/09/2009 The more i think about depression, the more i realize that there are a lot of things that one could get depressed about. In fact, it is surprising to me that more people aren't depressed. Maybe they are and they are just not talking about it. When i see the world this way, i seem to observe a little bit of depression hiding in nearly everybody, just below the surface. Just deep enough beneath the skin for most of us to miss seeing it. I see it though. The question as a therapist is always: 'am i transferring that depression or projecting it into what I see?' There is some of this transference in all that any of us see at any given moment, but in this case, i believe it is really out there and not just in here. When you look at the suffering in the world it is truly baffling that any of us could not be depressed about it. The way that shame affects our mental health in this case is by forcing us to deny it to eachother and to ourselves. To accept depression as a natural state of being, for which there is no cure and no problem is to accept that things are the way they are in the world. In today's medicated society, the concentration camp guard who complains of depression is given a pill and sent back to work. 03/09/2009 My dream the other night occured in a semi-conscious state. I was lucid, clinging on to the state between conscious and un conscious. I could project light from the pupils of my eyes and bring out shapes in the darkness. As i was doing this, it occured to me that the objects which were appearing as a result of my flashlight eyes were very painterly. It was as though my imagination was painting objects, without the use of my hands. The objects were painted at will into the darkness, each one revealing itself to me in situ. I could not determine before hand what the object would be. It had to be discovered. However, i had the power to determine that an object would be discovered as i rolled my eyes in sequence along a shelf placed in nearly total darkness. I realized that the light was determined by the focus of my eyes and that my pupils, rather than being sites of darkness were wells of light, governed by the direction of my attention. In a sense, this is a nice metaphor for what actually happens in our daily consciousness. What is given attention is illuminated. It has since occured to me that though we have different skin colours and eye colours, all peoples pupils are black. Is it not fascinating that the eye contains a black hole which captures light, just like a black hole does in the cosmos? 07/09/2009 It recently occured to my neighbour to draw a connection between health care and gun laws. In his way of thinking, universal health care, like the kind we have in Canada, sends the implicit message to Canadian citizens that they have intrinsic value regardless of their socio-economic status. The message is that no matter how poor you are or how physically disabled, you will have access to people who will care for your health. What a lofty notion! But the point is that guns become necessary when people feel they must fight to obtain or maintain value. If I knew that an operation would save a loved one's life but that I could not afford it. I would consider stealing, robbing or even gun clapping to get the money. There are some things which i would resort to crime for. If there were no publicly paid treatment programs for drug addiction, what choice does an addict have but to rob, steal, murder. In fact, most gun crimes are drug related. It seems that when you make a mistake in the U.S, the whole country disowns you. You are only fit to wear the flag if you hold it upright. The point is that when people believe they have intrinsic value and are worth something as human beings they are less likely to want to take things from other people. As Malcolm X and Marx have put it, the police are only necessary once you have property to protect. Now that I think of it, it has occured to me that the US state which is most well known for politeness and good manners hospitality is also the one with some of the most lax gun laws and the strongest gun lobby, Texas. 09/09/2009 The idea is that religion is a private story while science is a story that you can verify with the facts. This is true. Religion can not be verified but science can. However, how many of us can truly put the science to the test in a wold where we have not education about the sciences. though it is true that the sciences are pushed harder in university because they are more economically viable, not all of us are amenable to the teachings of pure science. We simply do not have the skills required to assess the validity of scientific reports or studies published by specialists. Ironically, we must have faith that those responsible for studing cancer, aids mental health have our best interests at heart and that none of those specialists would be motivated by economic gains to dupe us. In closing this one paragraph essay, let me say that the pharmaceutical company Pfizer has just been sued for two billion dollars in a criminal case where they were prosecuted for soliciting doctors (scientists) to distribute drugs for reasons they had not been approved for. Essentially, Pfizer was convicted of possession of drugs with intent to distribute. So can we accept that science and technology replace religion. I agree that religion has to go, but are science and technology our new gods as they profess to be? 09/09/2009 The double blind controlled trial is the angel of art therapy. Art therapy must pray to that angel. 20/09/2009 I see the errors passed down from father to son, to son, to son, to son then I look to the sun and see that what's done is done and I ask myself: "must we do it again?" 26/09/2009 You can observe that when we give answers to open ended or closed questions we often interspesre the words:''I mean''. This is short verbal form for the words:''I mean to express'' or '' I mean to say '' or ''my meaning''. These words are often followed by a deep expression of what we are. Authentic to who we are. 01/10/2009 When i watch the television show Cops, I enjoy trying to get into the mind of the cop or the suspect to get some sense of who they are, how they are thinking, where they come from, how their adreneline goes up and down, how the drugs are affecting the suspects and cops, how the mighty law is being handed about, how the cop interrogates with a questioning mind while the suspects mind attempts to dissimulate what or she actually knows. I like to feel all of the stuff that is going on in that area of society because it makes me feel alive. It's also the same reason why action movies impress us so much. There is an exhilaration which is lived by the viewer. When we are exhilarated whe are infatuated if only temporarily. 03/10/2009 Atom and Eve. 03/10/2009 Repeat to yourself the sentence:"I am feeling turned on", 3 times. Reflect upon the possibility that that sentence is evidence of man's emulation of machines. The irony is that saying: "I am feeling turned on" is used in reference to the most un machinelike of human experiences. 03/10/2009 Defense mechanisms are the psychic equivalent of a computer's firewall. What stimulus meets certain parameters, it just doesn't get through. 04/10/2009 I can close my eyes and travel back into my body where i can access a visual playback of myself riding a bicycle, learning to drive, getting mugged, fighting with a bully after school and even my first sexual experience. There are no words to go along with these memories, in fact, few words were ever spoken while i was in the midst of them. This implicit memory exists in me and it is destinct from everything i know through verbal language.It is a separate knowing. A different compartment of my thinking. When i paint, some of that is in the painting. Oddly enough, i am flooded with words, thoughts in the form of words and dialogue and I am often even mouthing the words and conversations at a slightly audible level. I wonder if this would have been seens as a demonic possession a few hundred years ago... 04/10/2009 I am a humanist. An existentialist. A spiritualist without religion. As such, i am a fish out of water in a world which is drowning. 05/10/2009 Pharmacology and Farm Ecology are diametrically oposed ideologies which happen to be homophonic. Others include Nude Erection and New Direction 08/10/2009 The Catholic Church invests in The Christian Brothers Investment fund, which invests in Porn. I don't say that because i have a bone to pick with the catholic church or any Christian, but it is evidence that most sincere of intentions can lead into the most contradictory places. 12/10/2009 It has recently occurred to me and possibly someone else who may have written about this- that God is like a meal replacement for a conspicuously absent father. The father has in fact historically been absent from the lives of youngsters. As a result, we raise men who know not how to be fathers nor men at all. God, is the father we all need. It's not just an issue of patriarchy that God is perceived as a father, it is a genuine and deep, all important need for men in our society who can lead and protect and nurture. 14/10/2009 Listen to hip hop these days. there is no lyrical substance to speak of. There are Gems from the men of hip hop, which teach us things about ourselves. Their music shows us the ways he had forgotten. They heal us, these gems of hip hop but for the most part, it's a lot of crap. Spiritual garbage. They think we are stupid. To those prescious authentic musicians and artists i say go forth I will follow you before I take road of science. I'll take the road set out by science after... 18/10/2009 Art therapy is the most innovative and humanistic approach to psychological and spiritual health that i know of. 18/10/2009 The beauty of theatre is its capacity to morph into different meanings for different people. Through the narrative, the audience is able to grab salient piece of psychological material and emotionally resonnant imagery and use that to heal and learn. The play means different things to different people. One play, millions of different interpretations. Once again, the power of art trumps the dualist notions of this or that, actor and spectator. there is no here and there, but rather the one is the many simultaneously. Only art and life experience can claim to defeat faulty dualism. 18/10/2009 Any person who can identify and narrate the universal story of the people shall be perceived as a prophet. That prophet need only speak the truth that is seen in the hearts and minds of the people and the people shall raise them to the clouds a prophet. That prophet will be known as a prophet when he or she speaks because the people will instantly know that his-her words are those same words at rest in their hearts. When the people hear those words, they will respond as though spoken by themselves. What is inside the heart of the people will be rendered manifest in the world, and so will begin the moment of awakening. 18/10/2009 In the battle of id versus ego, ego rarely wins. (this is from battle star galactica) 18/10/2009 I have seen people of integrity and ethic flop into jello form when the prospect of money or personal gain was put before them. At times, i have been that person, willing to sell what is most dear for what is most near. Because i have had those feelings, i infer that others must have them. I am not as forgiving when i see this lack of honnour in others. 18/10/2009 The country that gave us the first PhD is also the one that gave us the holocaust and the second world war. 24/10/2009 When it comes to working with art and children, I believe that pushing the art to its maximum level of sophistication is appropriate. The higher the level of cognitive sophistication in the art, the higher the rate of rational emotive learning on the part of the children. Though we may be inclined to think that children are developmentally only ready for certain types of artistic expressions such as children's songs, nursery rhymes is more true to say that children may experience even the most sophisticated and researched art forms such as classical music, dance, and visual art and still be stimulated, encouraged and enhanced by it. Learning in art does not rely on the same principles which learning verbal languages, sciences do. Leaning in art is sensory, image based. To be sure there is cognitive dissection of artistic processes but the experience and the learning derived from it are pre-cognitive in importance. 24/10/2009 Learning through art is not represented in the same way that learning through verbal means is. Learning through art can permit the learner to take a type of quantum leap which defies developmental standards and normal rules of time and space. The learner through art is projected into the future through a fusion of cognitive, emotional, spiritual and behavioural streams of energy. When these 4 streams or elements are focused, energy emintes just as while lights splits to rainbows through a prism. 15/11/2009 I no longer see the client's story as the story. It's the strory about the story that's the real story. just like the bible. What is contained in the bible has no doubt shaped human consciousness, action and narrative, but it's the story around the bible that i am interested in. How did it come to be written and by Whom? When, where and of course why? The context tells us about the motivation and the necessity. The media of the day and the mind of the people around the origin of Jesus's story, that is what is interesting to me. The story about Jesus is kind of like the left hand keeping my attention away from what the right hand is doing. 15/11/2009 I no longer see individual problems as individual or individual stories as unique. In our uniqueness there is commonality. We share what makes us different. Every problem which a client brings is a joint problem involving themselves and the larger picture of social, familial and interpersonal dynamics. No person's consciousness lives in a vacuum though it is tempting to think it does because cognitive science teaches us that consciousness is encased in a cell mass, locked within a skull, wrapped in skin, then hidden with hair. It is more true to say that what we experience, and what we are likely to consult an art therapist for are all matters of shared experience. What we perceive as our particular ailment is infact the result of our comming into contact with someone or something outside of us. Object Relations theory attachement theory and art therapy are the closest we have come to addressing the reality that people are affected by people. Anxiety influences anxiety in others, depression does the same with depression. You can picture two mirros facing each other and you will have a good idea of how those things work. Each of us is a reflecting pool for another. One drop in that pool sends a ripple effect throughout it before it is absorbed. If a person presents a psychological problem, the first question most therapists might have is: "how did this person come to have this problem?" Most of our questions in the initial interview give away this type of thinking by asking: "how long have you had this problem? What have you done to try and address it? How is it affecting your life?" It's not that those questions aren't worthwhile but that we neglect to the context and the situation the client finds herself in is often overlooked. Though it is true that the fourth axis in the Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders is reserved for psychosocial and environmental factors, I find that it is too far down the list. Why should it be down at the bottom under clinical disorders, including major mental disorders, as well as developmental and learning disorders? Even those types of axis 1 disorders environmentally influenced. Everything is psychosocially influenced. Rates of intellectual deffieciency are much higher in low socioeconomic backgrounds. Rates of depression are not identitcal in all people or population segments. They vary according to areas, situations, contexts and of course genetic predispositions. The medical or biological componnents of depression or anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder have not ever been proven to be more significant than social factors. In fact, i would argue that they are in all likelihood less significant. Then why are we considering such issues as discrete, individual expressions of illness? If the problem is in what we are doing, why are we addressing it as though it were a function of what we are biologically. Why are we administering medication to individuals when we ought to be administering therapy to communities. Money is your answer. Professionalization is the name of the game. Everyone needs a job. The sad truth is that many of our jobs are usesless. They inadvertantly or perhaps intentionally prevent the truth from shining through. Medical insurance companies come to mind here. Whether we look at the industrialized prison system, the education system, the medical system or government, you will find enclosed systems which operate on status quo principles designed to keep jails filled, people stupid, sick or dependent. This is what keeps us fed. And eating as you can see with the current obesity epidemic, is just what we like to do. So tell me, in a society this sick, how does administering pills to individuals help us? The concentration camp worker is complaining of nightmares and insomnia. Todays medical model is sending him back to work with a prescription and calling it medical progress. Don't look to a heartless system for sympathy because your pain with only swell. Empathy is our last chance. It is our only hope. Empathy is that one mysterious gift which proves our emotional existence to us. It is that reflection of the self in the mind of another. It is the proof of all that i have said. It is borrowed from the heavens. It is the reflecting pool we are wading in. While you may say that surely, schizophrenia or autism could not be so environmentally dependent and are then the result of purely internal biological events. I guess you'd be right, but i would add however that those are the exceptional disorders of severe psychopathology and that the people with those conditions don't generally consult on their own. They are obliged to consult because they can not function in this society. I would argue that in an ideal world, a society could be adapted for which such people would cease to be "abnormal". 03/01/2010 Anyone who can afford to give you 50% off or two for 1 is probably a thief and a liar. 11/02/2010 Whoever said that language determines thought, made it true by saying it. 10/03/2010 Good Mood = God Mode 10/03/2010 One of the main inhibiting factors to account for men's absence from the primary school teaching profession is Biologically based in my view. The higher level of testosterone in men reduces the availability of a specific and required amount of patience and concentration. There are other social factors of course, but this is the single most important biological one. 10/03/2010 I want to find 10 artists I really like and copy their style while creating an original piece. It will be a series of 10 paintings in the style of ten known artists. Each piece must appear as though created by the original artist, in order for my work to be successful. The point of this series would be to demonstrate the ability of an individual to adopt various styles. 10/04/2010 Because emotional and intellectual functions are distinct in their operation and localization, it is possible to have one sense be extremely well developped while the other remains stunted and immature. We may know personally of people who are extremely intelligent in an intellectual fashion but completely under developped in the sense of their emotional evolution. In the opposite case, we know of people who are emotionally wise or balanced yet have little intellectual command of the intellectual faculty of linear reason and logical analysis. Scientists sometimes belong to the first category, while artists may be most associated with the second. An individual enters his highest potential when both emotional and intellectual faculties are balanced. 10/04/2010 We want to get mad at sub prime lenders for the crash in the u.s economy but really that situation arose out of a perfect example of what happens when Narcissus gets too close to the water. 07/05/2010 We live in a "sucker" based economy where the flow of money and power depends on a sufficient number of people remaining completely ignorant about what is going on. The profit motive requires that we sell something for more than we paid for it. At the bottom of that food chain is the consumer, who pays the final price once every labourer, producer and seller has taken their margins. Our economy is inherently dishonnest, or we can at least say that the potential for dishonesty is very real and exists at every corner, each time something is bought or sold. When the profits made are within accepted reason, they are called profits, when they fall outside of accepted norms, they are called stealing. Accepted norms of course, depend on a sufficient number of people providing implied consent. A good producer or manufacturer always knows how to manufacture consent. 28/05/2010 Contrary to popular belief, therapists do not have the exclusivity rights on therapy. The process can not be patented because it is genuine love and affection and empathy at the root. Prostitutes sell the illusion of those thing. A hug is therapeutic. Kindness and consideration are as well. Any good therapist recognizes that his aim is cultivate those things actively. 29/05/2010 There are people who spend most of their lives living in the left side of their brains. Actually, most of us do this simply by being right handed. The right side is often considered a bit of a pest to deal with. more tricky, less absolute and intellectually ascertainable. You could say that since we learned to speak, the left side of the brain has slowly been taking over. If this trend continues, it shall completely run the show. The computer age is an indication of this trend, because we have created a machine which replicates the logical, linear functions of the brain but has absolutely no competence in terms of intuition, emotional reasoning of art. Sometimes, when I meet people living completely in the left hemispheres of their brains, i toy with them, like a cat with a mouse. I toy with them like subjects in my experiment. I provide them with emotional content, symbolic language rather than the significative language they are used to processing. I watch them squirm beneath the weight of the task before them and take pleasure in their utter bewilderment before such incomprehensible data as feeling states and colours, and forms and symbolism. I torture them quietly because it is the only revenge i can get as an artist for the brutal reality inflicted upon those of my kind. The reality that reason has a strangle hold on emotion. That the rational functions of the intellect have take over the airline while the pilot or should we say auto-pilot remains unconscious. I am contented with my petty revenge for the centuries of submission inflicted by reason, upon all other forms of experience and existence. Those living in the left side of their minds are more likely to be governed by their unconscious. This is frightening because while the left hemisphere's language functions to describe, calculate and quantify reality, no attention is paid to the bothersome right hemisphere. The right hemisphere is largely suppressed and the unconscious vault becomes huge. Right hemisphere thought and experience continue to exert an enormous amount of influence over the course of history by influencing day to day actions and feelings. What this means is that while some, mostly of artistic temperment are able to consider, access and process their unconscious, most are not. Those who are relatively less able to do this develop into a sort of existence where the left side litterally does not know what the right side is doing. Ultimately, those who deny the unconscious, tout the virtues of reason and incidentally science, are more likely to be ruled by unconscious forces. If your brain is a house. Let that house know only one master. Let that master be wise and balanced. Let that master not dominate the quiet half. another thought goes here.... 06/11/2010 Ultimately what we like in art arrives as a combination of contrasts or opposites. In cooking we like sweet and salty, acid with base, in visual art we like light and shade, opaque and transparent, in music we like the gentle flow of melody to accompany the brisk walk of rythm. We have two sides to the brain in part because we perceive mainly two sides to the universe. We know the universe is much more complex than just a set of opposites or dualities yet, our brain tends to perceive the world in opposites or dualities because this is a cognitively adaptive shortcut. Generalizing is another cognitive shortcut of the executive functions which allows for rapid treatment of information. We don't waste time describing each individual member of the set. We don't talk about each piece of grass but rather point to the general category. Even though each blade of grass is distinct and unique as a finger print. 15/11/2010 Of late, it can get depressing and a little isolating to be a me. A me believes that science now looks down upon us as the various fathers of religion did. The same contempt, the same belief that we who are not scientized must be saved. In some respect, they are right. Anyone who can not use a computer will basically be euthanized in the near future. I am so tired of scientists telling us what they learned instead of putting it in terms of what they don`t know. The monetization of science is the problem. Not scientists themselves or science as  a discipline. Ultimately scientists are genuinely creative people who seek answers just like artists seek answers. However they do so by means which lead to provable truth. No one yet has proven that proof is the best thing we have got. I am tired of the banker i once met, who told me that depressed people ought to go out and work so they can get off the couch. I am tired of the psychologist I know telling me that free will is an illusion and that it is all going on at the synapse. i am an atheist or at least agnostic and every spiritual fibre of my body cries in outrage at the scientification of our humanity. Science is a tool for solving problems. that is all. If god, spiritulity and human experience are in any way irrational or at the core unscientific then science will never hold the keys. So, while we are taking out the microscope to look inside from the outside, let us not forget that the old way of looking from the inside to the outside is just as intelligent. Back to art people, back to art. we have wasted enough prescious time on this question as it is. Read the article that promted this outburst here: 19-11-2010 I don't know what to do. I want to try and make things better but i am stuck like everyone else, running in circles just to avoid falling behind. So long as i am stuck in that way of life, i can't really contribute. Having children is kind of like saying you have hope for the future but also like saying you give up on contributing to your present environment. If you have children, you are too busy to help the world and all your attention is focused on the little miracle before you. Everyone else is supposed to give you a seat on the metro. Everyone else is supposed to help make your job of raising the next generation easier. But when you have a child, what are you doing to improve your world? I guess you raise your child as best you can and that is your contribution. Well, if that is the modus operandi then please raise us a prophet or a saviour because that is what we really need. 26/11/2010 I have learned to use my words sparingly. Many people believe that if you are not talking, you have nothing to say.As a result, those who talk most are believed to be those who have the most to say or those who think the most. So politicians, lawyers and those who make a living out of words are believed to be the most intelligent and reliable sources of information in a world where the word is god. This is evidenced by the reality that the bible, once believed to the the worlds greatest source of information has historically been referred to as " the good word ". The reason why i use my words sparingly is that i have come to understand the huge impact they can have in the lives of my clients in art therapy or even in the lives of the people i know. I hand pick each word as though a work and I select them into each sentence with the expressed goal of being understood in a specific way. In this way, i become more concise, more precise and more concrete in my meaning and run less risk of being misunderstood. When I am painting, i forget about everything i have just said. 26/08/2016   When i am in a creative phase, one thought will occur to me as triggered by some stimulus in my environment. After the first thought arrives, a second is sure to follow. At each upsurge, i remind myself that i must write about it to remember it, but i don't have time to write on the moment, in the present so i delay it. The longer i delay, the more rapidly the thoughts seem to emerge. At one moment it is a thought about a stand up comedy sketch, at another moment, it is about the stars in the galaxy or human relationships. As i write this, 3-4 thoughts have escaped me. 26/08/2016 Tony Robbins. I just finished the Netflix, Tony Robbins documentary called: "I am not your Guru". In it you see the man before large crowds internationally. He is invited by members of the audience, to intervene into their lives. One member has been abused by a relative. Another member has a difficult relationship with her father or spouse. In every case, a participant member of the public is seeking an answer or some significance in relation to an existentialist crisis, primarily: the universal crisis regarding how one is to be authentic to oneself. At each moment in the documentary, we see Tony Robbins presented as a man who has been through much personal hardship and who is able to immediately and spontaneously relate to and empathize with the story  of any given individual. By many he is considered a role model, a guru, yet i can not help relate his story to the story of the bible. The story of the bible is about an unusual man having been through much personal hardship on a path to enlightenment. This man eventually sees the light and understands how he is meant to be with others. He ultimately behaves with others in a loving manner bringing a message of hope. I can not help but draw parallels between the work of Tony Robbins and that of a televangelist. I find myself wondering if the participants were planted there or if the whole scene is rehearsed. I am certain of one thing throughout the entire documentary: This man is either a genius of emotional intelligence or a total fraud. When he speaks, i often feel as though he knows my experience in some way and yet, i am constantly wondering if he is simply a master of illusion. Is he a magician? Someone who knows about perception and is therefore able to calculate where the mind is likely to go, before it actually goes there? The interactions between Tony Robbins and the participants in his audience are mesmerizing in a nearly hypnotic fashion. I find myself at odds for disconnecting from them. I want to see what happens next, just as i do in any dramatic narrative. Yet part of my mind reserves scepticism and doubt about the authenticity of the idealized man, whether that man be Jesus, a televangelist or Tony Robbins.   26/08/2017  

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