The further we move along on this path, the more i feel isolated and removed from what is going on. Every time i ask a question of my fellow man about what is going on in the world, how and why it is happening, i am first amazed to find that my fellow man has a black and white answer. He has it figured out. There is no doubt for him. The conclusions seem forgone. When i know you can not possibly have real, solid answers which look anything like the way you present them to me. Then, I am amazed at how the answers seem to be the complete opposite of what i thought to expect. Those who appear wrong to me are given the right, those who appear to need are forced to give. Those who harm are recompensed while those who suffer from that harm are blamed for the burden of their suffering. Those who fought for freedom and liberty are taking it from others. i think this is called a system of dual morality. It is a system in which what is good for others is different from what is good for oneself. The rules which apply to others are not the same as those which apply to us. The rational mind can put reason aside. That is how powerful it is. It can explain anything anyway it wants. It can lie. The world is ever more backwards and the argument of my fathers generation, that the world has actually always been this way does not make it any easier to swallow. Everything, and I mean everything is backwards. Finding a just path on a road of shit still leaves you smelling bad. We must exist ex-machina to save our souls. It is the mental patient who knows something we do not. He just can't tell us what it is. When the number of criminals outside the prison exceeds the number within, it is time ask ourselves the hard questions. When the number of suffering exceeds the number of those at peace, we need to ask the hard questions. In sum, I am becoming more and more comfortable with being an outsider. A marginal. I know i am white, middle class, educated, but i swear to you, i am an outsider in the world which was supposedly built for me.